Finding me

So I have a couple things on my mind. 1st is that we just got back from my plastic surgery consult.  The Dr. said I don't have enough skin for a full tummy tuck but he could do a mini. The problem with a mini is that he's not sure if my belly button will be in the right place and the incision will be higher and therefor visible. Oh and it's about $5,500 which I'd have to pay up front.  GAHHH! I wish it would have been better news because my flabby tummy has always made me so self conscious. I can't stand it!! Now not only do I have to lose 20-30 lbs to be at my ideal weight for my height but I will always have this fucked up stomach!! My kids have no idea what they put my body through!! I have always put my kids 1st in everything but when I think of something for myself, I feel guilty! I think about braces, legal fees, 2nd. car. and all the other crap and none of it is directly for me. Is it so wrong to ask for something for me and just me? 

My next issue that is plaguing me is when people as questions but don't really want to know the answer. They are just asking it to be polite like when someone says "Hi, how are you?" I don't consider that simply a greeting but an actual question. I've always been a very black and white person. I am also a very honest person. If you ask me a question, I will tell you like it is. That has gotten me in to trouble on quite a few occasions. If you don't really want to know then don't ask because you may not like the answer. Oh, and if you don't like the answer, that's kinda your own fault cuz you asked!

I guess there is 1 other thing that I've been thinking about and that's procrastinating. I have been guilty of this in the past but I think I've gotten much better about it. When I see others doing it though it drives me nuts especially when it's something that I know is going to be worse if ignored and it's going to directly affect me!! In that case, it basically becomes my problem and I have to figure it out when the problem could have been avoided or minimized if dealt with immediately!

I swear the next blog will be something positive! I promise!! :)