Sunday, July 29, 2012

I like to think of every day as a fresh start. A day for a new experience or to learn something new. It seems as though I've done a lot of that lately. I wish some of those lessons didn't suck. I am really trying to get myself back in shape so I started running again. That didn't last long because I hurt my knee. I was just finding my pace and learning to control my breathing and now this! It seems like every time I start to think of myself then bam, everyone else's issues and needs are more important.  I feel like I'm made to feel guilty for thinking about myself first once in a while. 

I treat people as I want to be treated and that is the same philosophy I have when I do something. Do it right the 1st time and you won't have to do it again. Don't do things half assed and do the same quality work for others as you would yourself! I don't ask of others what I'm not willing to do myself. 

I know I'm getting old and set in my ways but is it wrong to like things done a certain way? Yes, I am particular when it comes to thing like loading the dishwasher but that's only because I have learned from experience and trial and error that it works best when done a certain way. I'm not being a control freak and I don't like hearing myself repeat shit 50 gazillion times! 

I'm just feeling like the black sheep lately. I need a job to get out of the house and feel like I have a purpose in life again instead of just being everyone's maid. My hope is to get a job 3-4 days or nights a week and have the others in the family pick up the slack. Yep, I know I'm dreaming but without a dream there is no hope!!

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