I can't help thinking about how different things were when I was growing up. We were on a need to know basis with our parents. They decided what we needed to know and we didn't question that. There were no conversations about money i.e. bills, pay checks, household expenses or anything at all what so ever about household finances. I had no idea how much my dad made and I still don't. I just know he went to work, got paid on Fridays, went to the bank and put cash in an envelope with the bills on the top shelf in the cupboard with the glasses. I had no idea how much the mortgage was or how much the electricity bill was. When we needed a new washer and dryer, they bought it. I have no idea if they had credit cards or if they paid cash. It wasn't my business. I had a nice home with my own room, clothes and food. My necisssities were taken care of. Kids today act like they have a right to know everything that goes on in their parents house. I disagree. I still believe in the need to know theory.
Then we get to the respect factor. Maybe I'm just an old fuddy duddy but I believe kids absolutely should respect their parents. We earned it when they were born. I think the idea that parents need to earn their kids respect is a bunch of crap. Maybe part of the respect for my parents came from the fact that there was fear there too. If I did this then my parents would do this and that was enough to scare me into not doing it. If I even rolled my eyes or talked back, SMACK! They sure let me have it. Now kids scream abuse! Now I'm not saying its ok to beat the shit out of your kids but a smack when needed didn't hurt me. I turned out fine and respect my parents more for it. I would have never told my parents or any other adult to shut up or spoken in a disrespectful tone or I would have been eating my own teeth!
(not really eating my teeth but it wouldn't have been pretty!) When I was told to do something or my parents yelled my name because they wanted me for something, I would have never thought to say "why or hang on"! We just didn't do it and we especially didn't question every decision our parents made!
I just wish we could get back some of the old values. Kids did what they were told and when they messed up, there were consequences for their actions. They learned from their mistakes. They appreciated what they had, no matter how little and for the most part, made the best of things. Maybe that sounds a little June Cleaver'ish but maybe if we got back to being real and letting parents and adults do our jobs, kids would turn out a bit different.
I've always told my kids they had 2 main rules....#1-Be a kid. You're only a kid for a tiny bit so enjoy it and leave the big stuff to us adults, it's our job! #2-communication! Without communication, being a kid is nearly impossible. Tell us what the problem is so we can do our jobs as adults and they can be the kids. They both go together. I don't think you can have 1 without the other. It just sucks when kids feel like they need to grow up too fast and miss out on being a child. I sure wish I could go back to being a kid.