Randomness and ramblings

Maybe it's the drugs or maybe it's my advancing age or a combination of the 2 but a few random thoughts-

The term Army wife, I'm not married to the Army, I'm married to Rick Hamel

The person who made up "open door policy" should have been more specific!

I love living in Hawaii

True friendship is priceless

I'm trying to learn something new or do a random act of kindness every day 

There isn't enough laughter in the world

I feel like something big is meant to happen in my life

Everyday is a day to be thankful and if you are reading this, I am am thankful for you!

Being a mom is the most important job in the word. 

3 sets of blue eyes telling me they love me makes my heart whole. (I miss it)

Memories-good and not so 

I am blessed even when I don't see it  (which is part of the reason for my blog, a reminder of all my blessings:)

Don't say it if you don't mean it and don't expect more from others than you are willing to do yourself. Follow through even when you get bored or lose interest. Step back and try to see a situation from someone else's viewpoint. Just because something isn't convenient
 for you, doesn't make it ok to back out. Doing something for someone else and getting nothing in return can be one of the most gratifying feelings in the world. Be the kind of person to someone else and treat them as you would want to be treated. The world would be a much nicer place to be.

Glad that's done!

So I had my surgery and the dr said everything went well! I'm so glad. I hope everything works the way he expects because it sure would be nice to not have my period for 5 years!  Right now I just need to rest which I'm not so good at and let my body heal! I didn't realize but I have about 4-5 little incisions and a few other marks that look like punctures. I've only taken a few doses of the oxycodone but I think I've already built a tolerance because it hasn't done squat! Oh and to top it off, how in the hell did I gain 5 lbs in 1 day when all I had to eat was water and a few crackers (that I threw up?) Makes no sense! I'm going to sit back and try to do nothing tomorrow because next week is Thanksgiving and I need to get on the ball! I will say that Rick and Becky have really stepped up and done a great job taking care of me. I love to see them doing things together and it's nice that they can work together and do things around the house that need to get done. It really means so much to me. I'm trying my best to be positive and count my blessings every day and weed out the negative. My circle may be small but I'm learning who are my real, honest friends that I can count on. Most of all, how blessed I am to be married to my best friend. 

44=?

So I just had my birthday yesterday, dare I say 44! Oh Lord that looks as old as it sounds! Most of the day was tied to the Internet waiting for news of a special arrival! Even though the flight was 3 hours late, I'm just so glad my soldier made it home. I am so proud of him!

Wow, I just can't get over that number 44! Is this going to be my year of discoveries? I recently discovered I have a friend that was right under my nose all along and didn't realize it. She was the only person that showed up for my birthday and brought me dinner. She said tonight when I asked her for a ride tomorrow, "you would do it for me, that's what we do for each other". It brought a tear to my eye because as many times as I've said that and done it for others, no one has said it back to me (and meant it!). So thank you my friend C.C! 

Now is when I start getting nervous. Everyone who knows me, knows that I'm a bit of a control freak. I like to know what's going on, I like things to be done a certain way (that's because it's what works best for me) and I need to be in control! (Did I already say that?) it's weird because certain things don't bother me at all, like flying in a plane. I have zero control but that doesn't phase me. Now loading the dishwasher or making the bed have to be done my way! It's just how I am (not necessarily a bad thing). Well I'm having a few procedures done at the hospital tomorrow and they will be done under general anesthia. That makes me more nervous than what they are doing or will find because of my control issue! Yep! I'm nuts. I've heard your 40's does that to ya! lol (the dr is doing some girly stuff, and exploritory and more girly stuff). No hiking for a bit but hopefully I can park my butt in a chair in the sand! 

Year 44 has just begun and look what it's already brought me:). I can't wait to find out what else is on the itinerary! Aloha!

It's always something

I'll be honest. Today was rough. My best friend is not home but that's fine, he's doing what he loves and I love him more for it.  My real problem is when people say they will do something then just flat out don't! I'm so sick of it and done. I deleted about 26 people from my Facebook list today because I truly believe that actions speak louder than words and I don't want any of those fake ass itches knowing my business. I guess the 40's is when we get real. 44 is coming Wednesday an that's smack dab in the middle of it! The worst part is I  have realized that I really can only count on my husband and that sucks when he's not here! I guess I'll take a bus on Friday. At least they have a schedule and are dependable. I've managed worse before. I just refuse to get sucked into the drama wives, bullshit,  where it's all for show and the who's who club. I'm better than that and they can all just shove it. A day alone on the beach is still better than spending a moment with a fake, condescending,hypocrite who doesn't really give a rats ass about anyone other than themselves. End

We all have a past

Our live consist of many chapters. Some happy, some sad and some more exciting than others. They all are edited together to form the story which is our lives. I'm getting ready to begin my 44th chapter but there are things from previous chapters that I just can't get past! My 2 older kids are the part I can't let go of. I just don't understand how 1 parent could turn children against the other with such vicious lies! I have missed so many years and memories because of lies that where told about me and it continues. That time can't be made up, the memories can never be recreated and the tears cannot be unshed. I've always tried to foster and encourage a good relationship with my children and their other parent but its a shame the same hasn't been reciprocated. Only hatred and jealously and lies which does no one any good accept to make the angry party feel better temporarily.

I have tried to be as tactful as possible but I'm tired of it! We signed papers, he forgot what he agreed to (I got nothing) and so we changed them and now he doesn't like what he agreed to again! Just support your fuckin kid and stop being a fuckin dead beat! You are her father! Take care of your responsibilities! You paid for everything for the other 2 and I took care of becky because I gave up spousal support ,  Now the older 2 are adults and not your responsibility, you agreed to support the last under 18! You wrote the papers now follow through and set a good example! You have a new job so pay me your half of what I paid for her medical expenses. You can't have it both ways! The glasses and braces and dental appointments and clothes and haircuts and cell phone and school expenses including bus fees have all been paid in full by me and her step dad! Support your kid! Be a good roll model. Just do the right thing! I need to close this chapter but can't until he gives me closure!

My brain won't shut off sometimes!

The days are passing quickly since we moved here to paradise. The 1 thing that hasn't changed is the beautiful weather! I can't seem to find enough time to get to the beach as often as I'd like or someone to go with me. My kiddo is tired of it (I know! Crazy) and my hubby is busy with work. Don't get me wrong, I'm so glad he is finally I'm really busy and ill get back with you when I get time" at least that way I don't feel like I'm totally being blown off. That leads to my dilemma. I'm having some girly surgery next week and if Rick is still out of town, who can I ask to pick me up from the hospital? I've been told that I ask for too much so that makes me leery of asking anyone. 

I sent out invites for a birthday party for myself. I don't care if 2 people or 40 people show up. I'm going to have some drinks and try to not think about the fact my BFF wont be there or that I'm getting pathetically old! I've decided that I am going to fight it as much as possible! I refuse to grow old gracefully! Bring on the hair color, Botox, suntan, whatever! Lol hey
! I thought they said the 40s were the new 30s? Well if that's true, I'm only turning 34 so I'm in my prime! LFG! Or shall I say ALOHA!