So we went to a marriage retreat this weekend. I tried to get out of it because of the events of last week. I didn't want to hear the whispers and see the looks. In the end, we went, I sucked it up for the betterment of my marriage and made the best of it. I won't lie. It was tough and last weeks wounds are still fresh. I need to get closure. Like I've said and what my sweet husband added, I know I'm a good person and we don't need or want petty, vindictive, shallow people like that in our lives. If they don't want to be my friend, fuck em. I don't want that kind of friend. I'd rather have the kind of friend that supports me when I'm down. Not the kind that shoves me down further, or the kind that hasn't taken the time to truly get to know me before they start attacking my character. I want friends that want to get to know me as much as I want to get to know them. People who have good morals and a good character and treat people as they wish to be treated. People who preach forgiveness or bible verses but don't live by it are not true friends. Worst of all, someone who would attack a child's character and spread vicious, slanderous rumors about my child when they have met them 1 time and barely know more about them than their name! Who does that?! Some things are just not forgivable. Pick on me, say what you want about me but don't EVER talk about my family!
This blog is helping me let this go. I have wasted too much energy on people who are not worth my time. I know 1 of those people, maybe more, read this blog. I'm not sure why, but I hope they see this. The sad thing about letting it go is these people will move on to another poor victim. At least when I was the focus, some other person was being left alone.
I'm taking back my control. If someone doesn't want to be in my life, it's their loss. I refuse to beg and I will never apologize for who I am. I am a strong, caring, supportive, compassionate, loyal friend. If my opinions or compassionate nature rubs bothers someone, that's not my problem. Maybe they need to look at themselves and figure out why they feel the need to be so critical of others. Maybe it's their own insecurities and doesn't have anything to do with me. Whatever the case may be, this is it. I'm done trying and wasting my time. It's time to be me and make me happy and if someone doesn't like me, tuff shit. I don't care!