So we went to a marriage retreat this weekend. I tried to get out of it because of the events of last week. I didn't want to hear the whispers and see the looks. In the end, we went, I sucked it up for the betterment of my marriage and made the best of it. I won't lie. It was tough and last weeks wounds are still fresh. I need to get closure. Like I've said and what my sweet husband added, I know I'm a good person and we don't need or want petty, vindictive, shallow people like that in our lives. If they don't want to be my friend, fuck em. I don't want that kind of friend. I'd rather have the kind of friend that supports me when I'm down. Not the kind that shoves me down further, or the kind that hasn't taken the time to truly get to know me before they start attacking my character. I want friends that want to get to know me as much as I want to get to know them. People who have good morals and a good character and treat people as they wish to be treated. People who preach forgiveness or bible verses but don't live by it are not true friends. Worst of all, someone who would attack a child's character and spread vicious, slanderous rumors about my child when they have met them 1 time and barely know more about them than their name! Who does that?! Some things are just not forgivable. Pick on me, say what you want about me but don't EVER talk about my family!
This blog is helping me let this go. I have wasted too much energy on people who are not worth my time. I know 1 of those people, maybe more, read this blog. I'm not sure why, but I hope they see this. The sad thing about letting it go is these people will move on to another poor victim. At least when I was the focus, some other person was being left alone.
I'm taking back my control. If someone doesn't want to be in my life, it's their loss. I refuse to beg and I will never apologize for who I am. I am a strong, caring, supportive, compassionate, loyal friend. If my opinions or compassionate nature rubs bothers someone, that's not my problem. Maybe they need to look at themselves and figure out why they feel the need to be so critical of others. Maybe it's their own insecurities and doesn't have anything to do with me. Whatever the case may be, this is it. I'm done trying and wasting my time. It's time to be me and make me happy and if someone doesn't like me, tuff shit. I don't care!
Janet,
ReplyDeleteGood for you! I have been there as well. I "lost" a couple of snobby girlfriends who I had known since very early childhood after they decided I was not perfect enough for them. It is so easy for people to pick on others, and never stop to think for one second how THEY are not perfect either! Jesus was the only perfect person to ever walk the planet. Not to mention, the bible strictly asks us to love one another and not to point out the splinter in someone's eye, when they have a giant tree growing out of there's! So that verse is summarized a bit, but you get my meaning.
I know it hurts losing someone who you thought was a friend. But remember that God brings people in and out of our lives for a reason. There are better friends to be made. I know from experience. It still hurts that those friends think bad of me when I try to live a good life and be a good person, but I have learned that sometimes we just can't control other people, and we have to let them go. In the end, you made the perfect point, a true friend won't leave your side through the hard times.
They CERTAINLY would not talk about your babies! Shame on them! I think Gossip is one of the worst things that hurts people's souls at this time. Words can be so hurtful. If people really want to preach the bible and act all "Christian" then they should be trying to be more like Christ. I highly doubt he spoke ill of others just to gossip.
Stay strong! <3
Thanks Ashley. I don't participate in that kind of nonsense. On more than 1 occasion, I have left the conversation because I wouldn't contribute to it. I have also told people I didn't appreciate the tone of a conversation and they shouldn't be talking about so and so because they weren't there to defend themselves. I had hoped others would do the same for me. Real friends would. I guess we still have lessons to learn in our 40's!
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